tina & carol

Now, to get a little more personal…  The following is my dad’s story that I wrote down 2 1/2 years ago, and to this day, it challenges me to live radically…

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Forgiveness…  This one word (and action) has been an underlying current in the tides of our family’s life.  It’s also my Dad’s platform, his message as a pastor and missionary…  So, when he shared yet another story of forgiveness, I was amazed AGAIN by his attitude of obedience before the Lord…

I don’t know if many people know this or not, but my Dad can’t hear out of one of his ears.  All our lives he mentioned that his ear drum had burst and to speak more clearly…   Somehow Carol and I had both concluded that it had something to do with the war when he was a child.  But we were wrong…  A few days ago, while sitting around the dinner table, as he was sharing about how ear surgeries are done, he remembered this story that he had forgotten…

When my Dad was in his early to mid 20’s, he joined the U.S. army and somehow got assigned back to Korea.  While there, he said people were really confused by him.  He was a Korean, but part of the U.S. army.  So both sets would be confused and do a double-take.  Well, one day, while my Dad was waiting in line for food in the cafeteria, he urged an African-American man and his friend to move forward.  Thinking that my Dad was telling him what to do as a Korean from the Korean military (a few worked on the same base), he struck my Dad so hard on one side of his head that my Dad had to be helicoptered to a hospital.  (Quick note:  my Dad said that the other guy who was with the African-American man realized that my Dad was part of the U.S. army and was quick to yell it out as soon as his friend had struck him.  So, it reminded me of what happened to Paul as a Roman citizen in Acts 22.)   The African-American had ruptured my Dad’s ear drum and he had to have surgery.  Afterwards, my Dad’s commanding officer asked if he wanted to file a complaint, but my Dad refused.  He told his commanding officer that he was a Christian and would not file the complaint…  Well, my Dad happened to work in the main office as the first point of contact - the office that every military man has to go through.  And one day, the African-American showed up.  While there, he recognized my Dad.  They talked and my Dad told him not to treat Koreans that way again and shared the Gospel with him.  He lead that man to the Lord…

My Dad has other stories from the Army, but this particular story challenged me again about forgiveness…  To this day, my Dad can barely hear out of that one ear and even has to read lips to compensate, but he sacrificed his hearing, so that that man could have life.   Life eternal, that is…  And who knows, maybe others heard that story, too, and turned to the Lord…   This is just a small story compared to all the others before and after…  Slowly, but surely…

First, Happy New Year, everyone!

Okay, I need to be honest.  I’m not sure if anyone has noticed my tepid writing lately, but I’ve had severe writer’s block for the past several months.  So, now that we’re in the new year, I decided that I need to do something about it.  My solution?  To write about whatever is on my mind, at that particular moment, no matter what the subject might be.  Well, at least on my appointed days, which are Tuesdays and Thursdays, I think.  Simple, huh?  We’ll see…

So, what’s on my mind right now?  New Year’s resolutions.  I made one primary resolution and that was to study a list of subjects at our local, newly remodeled (yay!) library, but Steve told me today, to shorten the list.  I agreed.  A couple or a few things, but not 5 to 10…  I’m sure others can juggle that many, but I think Steve knows me…  :P

Another resolution, is to slow down or completely stop myself when it comes to talking.  I know that sounds weird, but after a decade of spewing all the contents of my heart out at anyone within range, I feel like the Lord is telling me that it’s now time to close the door on that time of my life.  It took me a few years to sort this all out, but thankfully, the Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love and faithfulness…  So, this year, I’m ever-so hopeful…  The word, “hope,” being a theme for 2010.  Wow, the more I think about it, what a beautiful word…  Hope.

In 1997, I made similar resolutions that altered the course of my life.  I set my will about something and drastically changed the direction I was headed - it was one of the happiest years of my life.  I made many wonderful friends and experienced things that make me smile even to this day…  One of the results of that time, is that I started dating my, now husband, Steve.

So, for 2010, I “hope” in the Lord…

My husband and I live in a fairly quiet neighborhood, but because of where we’re situated, we get a lot of solicitors.  So, one day and unknown to me, Steve ordered a personalized resin house plaque/address marker online through Lillian Vernon, choosing the words, “No Soliciting” to put on it.  (You might have to search online a little, since Lillian Vernon doesn’t seem to have our particular one any more.)  It’s a very warm and friendly looking “No Soliciting” sign.  :)  The following isn’t the same as mine, but it’s as close as I could find.  (Sorry, still need to figure out how to load my own pictures…)

For the entire summer, it was propped up against the wall on itself next to our front door.  One day, I came across a plate/picture stand and a lightbulb went off!  This isn’t exactly like mine either, but you can get the idea:

There are many other combinations you can bring together, so use your imagination!  So far, it’s working!  :)

(Sorry, the comments had to be turned off, since we’ve been bombarded with spam, and need to figure things out first.  So, we *really* appreciate your patience.  :) )

So, the last several weeks after our exchange student left, Steve and I fell into a sort of oblivion.  All the discipline we had racked up until now, flew away somewhere.  Eating-wise, TV-wise, so on and so forth.  So, I had a “That’s it!” moment, too early in the morning for Steve’s taste, but still with a rallying cry, yesterday was a turning point.

I made a healthy dinner, and instead of TV, Steve played Trivial Pursuit with me, on his iPhone.  :)  It was actually fun, though, I’ll have to admit, I was a bit rusty with some of the more current information…  Needless to say, the world’s a much bigger place now, as far as information goes…

And then, this morning, I read - for the first time in a long time…  The title of the book being, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” by Dale Carnegie.  Okay, I’ll admit it, the title is a little more straightforward than I’d like, so I was a little embarrassed to even buy it, but I really liked Dale Carnegie’s old-fashioned views from his other book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”  And when I write “old-fashioned,” I mean the Judeo-Christian values that were still around in the 1930s.

So, the first chapter was about, “Today.”  What a powerful word.  Not yesterday or tomorrow, but today.  How much of the last several years had I spent on the yesterdays and the tomorrows…

“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”  Psalm 118:24

Many, many years ago, I had a small solo part for a song some of the church members were singing for our pastor’s ordination.  Well, I forgot my entire line and basically made up my own words, mixing in parts of the other guy’s solo part, too, to somehow get through!  Hahaha~  Needless to say, my mother and sister were laughing at me during the song and not quietly either!  :)  I came off stage laughing, too, thinking, “Oh well!  What more can I do?”  And shrugged it off.  That’s just how I was - I was very confident because I knew who and Whose I was.

Well, fast forward many, many years later…  And just the other day, I had a lot of errands to run, but I didn’t really feel like dressing up.  So, I just threw on whatever I could find, smushed Danskos included, and walked out the door.  Well, one of my errands just happened to be at Nordstrom.  Eek!

When I was younger, I really wouldn’t have cared what I wore, but years of depression gave me a sort of amnesia…  For a moment, I forgot myself.  And I let my inner self reflect my outfit (or vice versa?), which the clerk quickly picked up on and treated me accordingly.  (Steve, doesn’t this seem like an episode of the Dog Whisperer?)

I later shared this with my sister and she reminded me of “me”…  (Sometimes, you need people to remind you of “you.”)

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”  {Paul in Galatians 1:10}

It’s really weird.  The last 10 years, I’ve had the full spectrum of depression.  And in that time, I’ve been healing also.  Slowly, the Lord’s been showing me who I really am - the authentic me.  In essence, the same, but hopefully, a little wiser…   Let’s just say, it’s been a truly humbling experience…

My original post didn’t save properly, so I decided that it just wasn’t meant to be.  On to other things then.  :)

First, try the newest Altoids variety.  Dark chocolate dipped mints.  Maybe it isn’t new, but it’s new to me!  And oh my - I can’t stop eating them!

Secondly, I’m once again accepting the fact that change is constant.  I’ve struggled with change for most of my life, and yet, I’m still alive!  By God’s grace…  I feel like Anne of Green Gables asking why things have to change…  But I also see the beauty in change, like the greens of spring and summer turning into the reds, oranges, and yellows of fall…  So, I press on, knowing that “He has made all things beautiful in its time.”  Ecclesiastes 3:11a

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”  Paul in Philippians 3:12-14

Moving forward isn’t the easiest thing to do.  But most of the time, it just has to be done.  And that’s where I’m at.

I haven’t figured out the details yet, but I’m working on it.

First things first though: reorganizing my house, from top to bottom.  Housecleaning in essence, and not just because guests are coming over.  :)

Sorry, this is a terse post, but I’ll update you guys as things get more defined…

Update on the “hole in the head” disease…

Zebeshi is doing much better.  Steve change the water and has been feeding him consistently.  So far, some of the holes have scarred over, so he’s not as disfigured as before.

We’ll have to keep his water clean and feed him well, in hopes of a full recovery.  :)  The following is not Zebeshi, who has more of a defined barred-look.  I’ll have to post a real pic soon.

Sorry, I seem to have a slight case of Writer’s Block, so this will be about it for today…

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven…

{Ecclesiastes 3:1}

Our exchange students/siblings have taken flight!  One has literally flown to LA for the next part of her story.  And the other is now attending a local university.  But I heard a little bit of wisdom along the way, to prevent me from being totally overtaken by the “empty nest syndrome” which I wrote about earlier…

A teenage daughter we know, went off to college and told her mom (in a roundabout way) that she’d be happiest if her mother were living happily while they are apart from one another.  So, I took that and made it my own.

Now, it’s a new season in my life.  (Literally, too, since fall came right on time.)  And now, I’m going back to the simple things.  Reorganizing our house, cooking w/ joy this time, getting deeper in the Word…

I know, super simple.  But hey, what’s the most important things in life, but the super simple?  Faith, hope and love…

I was going to write about my mom, but decided to wait on that…

For now, something more urgent and pressing is on my mind.  Our fish has “hole in the head” disease.  Eek!  I’m so sad.

With Steve being very busy lately and me, not really knowing how to change the water, our fish, “Zebeshi” (named by our exchange student for looking like a zebra, but being a fish w/ a Korean accent to add) got the unfortunate condition.

Now, we have to do what we can to get him healthy again.  Though, most of the internet says that in most cases, the holes stay, even if the condition gets better.  Sigh…

For now, frequent water changes and a healthy diet will have to be our healing regiment…